How I start most conversations with my friends

Me: Can we talk about how I don’t make great decisions

  • Everyone: You're really tall.
  • Me: Sorry.

I don’t understand why it’s so easy to facebook chat a girl after freinding/being friended but when it’s a guy…

Scrolling Through My Dashboard

  • Me: Oh.
  • Me: That's what I'm supposed to look like.

The Reason I’m Suspicious

Is because the last time I had this conversation with somebody, we…

Well.

Talking To A Cute Boy Online

  • Normal Person: Hey, you're really nice/cute/sweet, want to hang out?
  • Me: Hey, look at this thing that happened on the news you should turn on CNN or Fox or whatever and then we'll talk about disney and food and stuff