Singing Towers

I have spent tonight shirtless on tinychat analyzing the oddities of my nipples and waist with friends.

Perfect guy. Perfect body. Perfect personality.

Great kisser.

If only he was real. :/

I’ve been struggling with my weight and my self-image probably since the the 6th grade. At least, that’s when I noticed that I had a bit of a midsection. There’s no words to make it pretty – I was fat.

It wasn’t always that way. Before my parents separated there was always somebody home with me, and that meant that there was always somebody to tell me to stop eating junk food or to get off of the computer. After my Mom had to get a job that wasn’t so.

So I ate, and didn’t move much.

Meet Colin right before 7th grade.

Yeah. You can see the overhang of the stomach and the man boobs (moobs) forming. I don’t think I even cared, though. I honestly didn’t think to myself that I was overweight.

Say hello the hips of 8th grade Colin.

And the protruding stomach of almost 9th grade Colin.

Then, at the beginning of my 9th grade year, I broke my leg and was subject to a wheel chair for about two months. Doesn’t exactly facilitate exercise, and given that I couldn’t walk properly for a while, I gained a lot more weight.

Here I am the Summer before 10th grade.

Can you say A-Cup?

That October I was the heaviest I’d ever been: 197 lbs. Around then I started to care. I hated taking my shirt off even when I was by myself because it was a reminder that I was huge.

I also wasn’t fond of my face. Or my style. But that’s for another day.

Things began to improve, and by LeakyCon 2011 (last July) I was down about 8 or 10 pounds. This past August things definitely started to change.

I had began doing an aerobics video (sometimes), and I wasn’t eating as much. I lost a lot of weight really fast, and it/I wasn’t the healthiest. I still felt fat, I still felt ugly.

I’m in a better place now. I eat healthy, I exercise, and puberty has been helping with… leveling everything out. There’s still work to do, but I never thought I’d be in a place where I’d post a shirtless photo on the internet. (See the last two posts)

Why does nobody ever fucking say something when someone is calling somebody else too skinny?

The second somebody calls a girl fat, the entire world starts saying ‘No, she’s curvy and beautiful and perfect the way she is’

And that is FINE. I am one of those people who says that.

But nobody cares when somebody, in my case my grandmother, says I’m too skinny and body obsessed when I don’t accept a second piece of pie.

Whether or not somebody is saying someone is fat or too skinny, it’s still implies that they don’t think that person’s body is fine the way it is.